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Archive for October 7th, 2010

Bullying Crisis

My camera battery died while I was trying to upload my lunch photos…wahhhhh! So I will have to include my lunch photos with my dinner post tonight, so biggy, I will just leave you all in serious anticipation!

I decided to touch on a very important topic to me, something much more important than a turkey sandwich (spoiler alert!!). Recently the news has been featuring many, many stories about bullying and the effects it has on people, old and young. Most recently Tyler Clementi who committed suicide last week after his roommate posted a video of him having a sexual encounter with another male student.

Today Ellen posted this video on her website:

As someone pursuing her Master’s Degree to be a School Counselor this topic is very important and interesting to me. The effects of bullying and what I can do to stop is always on my mind and I am sure that it will be even more on my mind as I start my internship next year and as I start my career (hopefully) the following year.

As a person who was bullied in Middle School this topic is important to me in another way. I have touched on this in a previous post, but have decided that since, as Ellen says, it is becoming a crisis I would share my story in a more candid and open way.

See this girl all the way to the left? That’s me! Besides the sweet satin jammies (Thanks to my Nana, god rest her soul) I look like a pretty cool girl, huh?

Although a few of my friends thought so and my family thought the world of me, this time in my life was a very dark time for me. And- I believe I was only 13 years old in this picture! I had a few “friends” that bullied me. The bullying started in 5th I believe. I am not sure what I has done to deserve it, but there where a few people in my group of girl friends whose purpose in life, it seems, was to make me miserable. From the time I was 10 until I was 14, I was bullied about anything you can imagine.

  • I had chicken legs
  • I had a upper lip that was too big
  • I was not smart enough
  • I was boring
  • I was lazy
  • My parents didn’t make enough money
  • Members of my family were overweight
  • I was flat chested
  • I didn’t have the right shoes
  • I had ugly hair
  • I smelled bad
  • I made weird facial expressions

I am embarrassed to say this now, but I internalized all of this- every bit.  I thought all of these things were true of me and that I was worthless. There were a few “lead” bulliers and then the few girls that were far too afraid of the bulliers to say anything against them, so they just joined in. It was a hard situation.

Not all my friends were mean, some were nice and liked me fore who I was (I am the one with the fish face) 🙂

I am grateful to those friends that stood by me. Especially my bestie May who was in the same boat as me, we were bullied together. But, not matter who thought I was great those bullies who where supposed to be “friends” made my life hell everyday. They got some sick statistician out of it.  Of course my mom did the old, “They are just jealous” comments. At the time, I thought those were BUNK! Note to Self: MOM IS SMART. LISTEN TO HER! Looking back, she was right. What where I jealous of? Who knows! But, in my experience, now that I am old enough to realize this, anytime someone puts someone else down they are either jealous or insecure. Sad, huh?

(that’s me all the way to the left).

By the time I got to High School, I didn’t think much of myself. I also had some other things going on that made me sad and unhappy. This dislike for who I was made me feel out of control and as a result I suffered from bouts of disordered eating. Here is am at 15 with my friend Mark, I am a little too thin.

So how did I become the beautiful, intelligent, spontaneous, active, nice smelling woman that always has the right shoes ( 🙂 ) that I am today?!

Well she was always in there, I just had to believe she was there. I took a loooonnnggg journey of self love in the past few years. You can read more about it here and here.

I have never received an apology or acknowledgment of what happened from my bullies. We are still in contact (Oh the powers of facebook!). I am okay with that, I am sure I would never want to admit I had acted like that if I were them. I don’t need an apology. They are forgiven, in my books 🙂 After spending years of feeling bad about myself and wishing I could BE them, I am SO HAPPY I never got that wish and that I get to be ME always, everyday 🙂

I am lucky! I was able to work on myself and make things better, I was able to see who I really was and absolutely love myself for who I am. Many are not that lucky as we have seen in the news a lot lately.

What are your thoughts on bullying? Do you think there is a crisis? Where you bullied? Where you a bullier? What do you think can be done to make things better?

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I Adora Chocolate!

Morning! Well, I could not be more excited to wake up this morning and see that the rain is gone and the sun is here 🙂 I feel like it has been raining forever, even though it has only been a few days. I really, really dislike rain so I am glad it is gone! YIPPEE!

Yesterday I had class after work. Before heading to class I stopped off and got coffee and a pulled a kashi bar out of my snack drawer to take with me. The coffee was an organic blend with half and half and one pump of pumpkin spice syrup. I didn’t end up finishing it, it was a HUGE medium.

I actually had a workout planned for after class. But, I have found that if I don’t workout before work on days I have class, there is no way I have the energy to workout after class. After class was over I was hungry and tired and not in the mood for a workout. I braved with cold and rain to get home and by the time I got there all I could think of was soup, nice hot soup!

Luckily, this little guy was waiting in the cabinet for me 🙂

I had a can of Amy’s Black Bean Soup that I topped with avocado, hot salsa and shredded cheddar cheese. On the side I had garlic toast. I toasted the bum of my loaf of whole wheat bread (I usually hate the bum for a sandwich, but it is perfect for this) and topped with with Earth Balance “butter” and garlic powder.

It was the perfect warm meal to stratify my soup craving 🙂

Dessert was a few pieces of my favorite chocolate of all time- Lindt Dark Chocolate with Sea Salt. Nothing can beat it with the salty and sweet combo 🙂

I am an interesting night’s sleep last night, let’s just say I was woken up multiple times. I really, really dislike when that happens because disturbed sleep really has an effect on me the next day.

However, I felt a lot less tired when I saw that the sun was shining this morning!!! 🙂 Breakfast was amazing. I had Kashi GoLean Crunch mixed with vanilla greek yogurt and sliced strawberries and coffee.

I love all the different textures in this breakfast, smooth, soft, crunchy 🙂 Are you a big texture person or could you care less?

Today’s Outfit:

Gray and white pin stripe pants (Gift from my mom) and an Aqua v-neck sweater (Gap).

In Other News:

I was recently sent Adora supplements  in the mail. You have probably noticed that I usually have one after my lunch. For someone that is a huge chocolate lover like me (mostly dark chocolate…yummmm) they are a great way to get calcium and vitamin D that our bodies need. This is especially important for women. Adora is amazing and gives you 50% of you daily need for Calcium and Vitamin D.  Many people think of calcium as important for women menopause age and older, while this is an important time of life to make sure you are getting enough calcium,  it is important at all stages of a woman’s life:

  • Osteoporosis – 44 million Americans, 80 percent of whom are female, are affected by this brittle bone disease.  Incorporating calcium, which makes up the majority of bone tissue, and vitamin D, which helps the body absorb calcium, into a diet is one of the best ways to prevent osteoporosis.

  • Pregnancy – Calcium is the main component of a growing baby’s tiny bones.  It is important for women to meet their daily calcium needs when pregnant and breastfeeding, or else the calcium required to support the baby will be pulled from the mother’s bones and result in bone loss.

  • Menopause – Rapid bone loss is a side effect of menopause due to a change in hormone balance, specifically the reduction of estrogen production.  Calcium taken by women – both young and old – can help bolster bone mass and minimize the loss of bone over time.  It’s never too late to start taking calcium regularly.

 

  • PMS & Menstrual Cramps – Calcium is an essential component of muscle contraction and, without it, muscles cramp more easily.  While calcium can help menstrual cramping, one of the best source of the mineral – dairy foods – may actually cause more menstrual pain.  A calcium supplement can help women meet their calcium needs while also alleviating other PMS symptoms.

Adora Calcium & Vitamin D Supplement is available in creamy milk chocolate and rich dark chocolate.  Suggested retail price is $7.99 – $9.99. However, Adora has offered to give on FFF reader one bag of their milk chocolate and one bag of their dark chocolate (my favorite) supplements! YAY!!!!

To enter this giveaway comment on this post telling me what is your favorite  chocolate food or beverage . Chocolate covered pretzels? Chocolate chip cookies? Fro Yo? Hot Chocolate? You have until tomorrow at 12 noon to enter I will announce the winner after that!

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