Hello! I want to start by thanking all of you for your tweets, comments, e-mails and messages regarding my last post. I read every single word from every one of you and thought a lot about all of them. It was great to read your advice and all of you experiences with feeling the same way. Seems like many of you while having the same experience have thought there were different causes.
When I left work last night I went straight home to talk with my husband about the race and what has been going on. He is well aware of the difficulties I have been having, but we haven’t really discussed it in the context of this upcoming race. There was a lot of talking (and there were some tears on my part). After much thought and consideration, I have decided to do the race. Adam gave me a clear and easy “out” if I wanted it. But, in the end I didn’t. Here are my reasons for this decision:
- After looking at the route, it looks scenic and pretty fun. It would be a great way to see a part of NYC that I may never have gotten the chance to see.
- The race is “walker friendly” meaning that when I need to walk, I can – no biggy. 🙂
- I am running it for fun. The fact that I will not beat or even match my first Half Marathon time is fine. I am doing the race Garmin-free without worrying about time and focusing on spending the time with Adam and enjoying myself. (side note- whenever Adam and I run together- we never wear music, we just talk.)
- This fun distance with Adam may be just what I need to get out of my funk or rut.
- I just can’t be a “quitter”. I know myself very well, I know if I don’t do the race I will feel like a quitter. Honestly- can I walk 13.1 miles? Yes! If I have to walk the WHOLE THING (I am certain it will not come to that-but who knows) then I walk the whole thing. I still finished. (please note that this applies to how I feel about myself in this particular situation- I do not mean that anyone who has ever backed out of a race is a “quitter”).
So, what do I think went wrong here, a few things:
- I am burnt out. Not just with running but with life in general. I have a lot going on- working full-time, part-time, freelance writing, renovating a house, writing a blog, graduate school – you know, just to name a few 😉 I have a lot of balls in the air and juggling them all can get hard.
- THIS WINTER WAS BRUTAL– with all the snow and cold this winter (hello, 6th worst winter ever recorded) getting out there to run has been a huge challenge. When my schedule allowed for it it was either freezing, the streets and sidewalks were covered in snow or ice etc. I did to A LOT of work on the treadmill this winter- A LOT! But months and months of only treadmill may have gotten me into a rut considering my dislike for it. It took the fun out of the whole thing for me.
- I may just be worn out on running. From reading others comments and experiences this happens, more often than I thought it did for sure. I started running for fun and because I enjoyed it. When that feels like a chore or causes anxiety, it is certainly time for a break.
So what am I doing about it? Well, like everything else in my life- I have a game plan. However, this plan is not as strict as they usually are. The Type-A part of me is cringing- but she needs to get the hell over it! My plan is to work in other modes of exercise that I love but haven’t had the time to do since my single focus has been running and stressing about running.
You will see more Crossfit, Yoga (hot yoga- oh the joy!), spinning, pole dancing – I am getting excited just thinking about it! You will still see running. I plan on starting with my shorter distances, running garmin-free, and just letting my body remember how it feels to enjoy a run and why I love it. I will not be doing my 5 days a week of mid-long distances like you have been seeing. It will be less frequent and less distance until my burn out is over and I miss it. Fact is, I know I will miss running. The thought of a beautiful sunny day -65 degrees out running along the Charles River still gets me feeling energized and excited- so it is in there somewhere!
I think it will be great to do other workouts I love for a while and maybe even try some new ones I have never done and have been meaning to. 🙂 Changing my perspective on this race and my working out in general last night was so freeing! I don’t HAVE TO run 10 miles in the 30 degree weather on Sunday and that makes we squeal with excitement! Instead maybe I will do hot yoga- who knows!
At any rate- I am feeling much less dooms day about my situation and much more free and hopeful. If you think that your support, e-mail, comment, message or tweet did not help with that for one second, you are wrong and so I thank you. And- my amazing husband who has a PhD in Ali and is the most incredibly understanding and motivating human on the planet- okay, seriously- my intention is not to make you gag…lovey dovey stuff is over!
For those of you worried that it may actually be something more physiological. I have made an appointment for a physical with my primary care for two weeks from now AND finally decided to take those iron and vitamin D3 supplements I was told to take by her 🙂
Anyways…who want to see what I ate this morning and what I am wearing, huh?!
Breakfast was some good old fashion banana oats topped with dry roasted almond (love the crunch), cinnamon and a tsp of brown sugar with a cup of lovely chocolate cappuccino coffee!
Black shirt dress and tights (H&M).
Gray military style boots (Target).
Clearly I have an obsession with stacking bracelets of different metal make-up.
In honor of my trying new and different workouts I would like to draw your attention to this little gem. Signpost is offering a $75 deal on Beach Bootcamp at Revere Beach in Revere, Ma. For those of you who are unaware, I jump started my journey to a healthy lifestyle with outdoor bootcamp in June of 2008! I will be giving away one free voucher for this deal. That means one lucky reader will win a FREE month of beach bootcamp! Since it is specific to Revere, Ma please do not enter this giveaway if you live far away or out of state.
To enter just comment on this post about why you want to win! For an extra entry tweet the following message: I want to win the @milomuscles and @SignpostBOS giveaway on @aliFoodFitFash blog!
Good Luck you have until tomorrow at 4pm!
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